In March 2013, I went on a missions trip to Jamaica for the first time.
In March 2016, I went back.
Both weeks were structured the same. They were both over spring break and I spent both weeks serving at the Caribbean Christian Center for the Deaf in Kingston, Jamaica.
But that's about where the similarities stopped.
About 3 days in to my second trip, I started questioning why things felt different and it took a little bit of time for me to figure it out. Nothing in the country had changed. The people and places were exactly as I remembered them, and beyond the fact that the kids I met at CCCD had grown up in the 3 years since I had been there last, they were still as spunky and energetic as ever.
Through conversations I began having with others on the trip, and looking back on what I had written in my journal during my first trip, I started to see that what had changed so much between 2013 and 2016 was me.
A couple of months before this trip, I was asked by Carter and Sara, the leaders of the trip, if I would be willing to share my story on one of the nights in Jamaica.
I was nervous, but I said yes. And for the next couple of months I wrestled with what I would share and the question of what parts of my story I could contribute was really weighing heavy on my mind.
“He must become greater, I must become less.”
Carter and Sara asked me to read over John 3:30 and share how that verse had been made real in my own life. I went through A LOT of revisions, seeking to figure out what it was in my story that would make the greatest impact on the lives of those I would be telling my story too. It was the week before we left for Jamaica, though, that I realized the biggest flaw in how I was going about writing my story...
Me.
I was writing down a story that I thought would make me sound the nicest, cleanest, put together person when in all actuality, I just needed to tell God's story. In that moment, I still needed to remember John 3:30 and let God do the work I was struggling to do myself. God must become greater, Daniel must become less.
After arriving in Jamaica and as the day I would give my story grew closer, I found myself journaling a lot about my fears. All I wanted to do at that point was share my story well and let God be glorified through my words. I was nervous, and the night I was to tell my story, I wrote down this prayer.
"Lord, let my words tonight be your truth. Let my story work in ways I may not never know and help me as I try to be vulnerable with people I don't really know that well. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your love. Thank you for putting people in my life who have shown me your love and joy! This week, I've been reminded of how much you have changed me and the grace you have shown me as I've stumbled along the way over the years. Thank you for your constant pursuit of my heart."
That night, I told my story. That night, I told some of the most vulnerable parts of my life to some old and new friends a like. That night, I was no longer afraid of being real with people; as silly as that may sound. I was so nervous leading up to that night because I was nervous about how people would perceive my story. But that night I realized that it didn't matter because through my story God was becoming greater.
The week after we got back, I sat down in Sidecar to write some thoughts down. Here's what I said.
"Jamaica was good; like way good. God showed his faithfulness to me, and that's one of my biggest takeaways from it right now. This past week, I saw where God has been working in my life and the changes he's been making in my heart. I'm a lot more patient than I was 3 years ago and I'm a lot less selfish than I used to be. I'm more willing to go with the flow and let God do his thing instead of trying to handle all things on my own. This past week, I let God become greater, as I became less."
God has been faithful over the last 3 years. He never gave up on his constant pursuit of my heart; even when I was insistent that I be in control.
I never figured it would take a trip to another country for me to have this realization, but putting me in the same place, in an identical situation nearly 3 years later, allowed me to see how much God has been at work in my life. I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to serve in Jamaica and continue to build relationships with the kids at CCCD and I'm thankful for everybody who supported me both prayerfully and financially along the way. I learned a lot about myself during this trip and I'm humbled to have had the chance to share the work that God has been doing in my life through a story only God could have written.