When you think about a conversation, I imagine you are thinking about two people using their voices to speak words to one another. Maybe they’re looking at each other, maybe they’re not, but through their body language and the words they are using, the two are able to carry out a conversation.
Most of us take the simplicity of conversations for granted but even more so, we take for granted our ability to listen and hear with our ears. Take away our ability to listen, and a spoken conversation quickly becomes difficult.
Now imagine a life where silence is all you know. Where the beat of a drum or the birds chirping are unfamiliar sounds. Where the thoughts that exist in your head are the most deafening thing you know.
Silence can be hard. It is in the silence that we often times find ourselves contemplating life. Questioning our decisions, our choices, who we are and why we believe what we believe. It is in the silence where our own thoughts can consume us.
In March of 2013, 2016, and 2017, I have travelled to Jamaica to spend a week at the Caribbean Christian Centre for the Deaf. As the name of the school implies, the CCCD is a school for the deaf that exists in Jamaica. In four different locations across the country, CCCD exists to serve the deaf community in various capacities, educating and preparing them for their future in ways that other schools in the country may struggle to do. It was at the Kingston campus this most recent trip where I discovered how powerful silence can be.
On Tuesday evening of my trip this year, I found myself sitting on a wooden bench and watching the two boys sitting across from me carry out a silent conversation. They weren’t using their voices, but they still showed all their emotions and words through their hands and faces. Using expressions and movements to convey the meaning they sought to communicate.
So as I sat there and watched these two kids converse, I stared in awe at how incredible their language is. It didn't look or sound like the language I use yet stories were being shared and jokes were being told.
They were listening with their eyes, not their ears.
On previous trips, the silence I experienced brought so much discomfort. Without communicating how I know best, I was consumed by my thoughts and feelings in the depths of the silence.
I questioned a lot about myself. I questioned what I want in life. I questioned why God had chosen me to serve alongside those engaged in full-time ministry there.
This trip was different though. In the silence, God was at work through my discomfort.
Throughout the week and through many silent conversations shared, I found myself learning more and more from the kids. They had no agenda, just a desire to live their lives and tell others about Christ. It was in those silent conversations that I realized how to be comfortable in the silence and to allow God to speak to me in those moments.
So often, I think we all wish God would communicate with us verbally, asking him to physically speak words to us so that we can hear his word with our ears. But I am finding that it is in the silent moments where I quit talking and decide to listen that God is speaking to me the most.
Silence can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Like the two boys conversing across the table from me, so much can be said in silence. We just have to be comfortable in the silence for us to be able to listen in those moments.