the summer

Remember back in elementary school? We spent our summers running around the park playground playing man on the wood chips. We read countless books to get the coveted invite to the summer reading program pool party. A party at the same pool we had season passes to and spent every afternoon getting burnt at.

Then something happened. Middle school rolled around and the playground was quickly replaced with the ball diamonds as we played baseball and softball. We continued to spend so many hours at the pool, but never seemed to get in the water when we went, opting to lounge on the side.

Summertime in high school meant summer jobs at the gas station, grocery store, construction company, and of course, at the pool. We spent the rest of our time cruising around town with our friends and making daily trips to neighboring cities since our town was "too boring."

No matter what though, we always knew what the summer would be like. We knew what to expect as soon as the final bell rang in school and summer began.

No one told us what summer would look like once college came along though. We quickly figured out what we wanted to do though- from heading back home to keep mooching off our parents to starting full time internships to beef up our resumes. While college was a completely new experience for all of us, we were still lucky enough to kind of have an idea of what came after the end of summer- the next year of college.

But then, what about after graduation? What is summer supposed to look like when there isn't anything that just naturally happens next?

That's where I found myself this past May.

There I was, summer after graduation, and I had absolutely NO PLAN for my future.

My lease was up May 31.

My boss at my part time job was unsure if he needed to replace me if I was going to leave.

And literally everybody around me was asking, "What are you doing now that you've graduated?"

Throughout the summer, I found myself really challenged in a way I've never been challenged before. Those of you that know me well enough know that I am a planner through and through. I like to have a game plan going into things and can make adjustments as needed, but really prefer to know what is happening before it does. Being that kind of a person really made this summer difficult for me.

I didn't know where I would be living on June 1 until the week before. I didn't know where I would be living for the month of July until the day before I moved into the new place. Throw on top of that the fact that I was striking out left and right with different job searches and I was feeling pretty discouraged.

I questioned a lot of the decisions I made in graduate school- even going as far as questioning my decision to pursue student affairs altogether. I wondered if the experiences I had had were adequate enough to land myself a job.

Here at the end of the summer- through all of the doubts and questions I had, I have realized how good this summer was for me. In too many situations, I had lived a life free from uncertainty. Every single year, I had a game plan at the end of the school year- I knew what was up next.

This year has been a challenge because of that- I had no clue what this summer would look like.

I didn't know my plan- heck, I didn't have one.

But at the end of summer, when I stopped stressing about it and quit worrying about what was next and embraced the uncertainty of the summer- summer without a plan was really good for me as it forced me out of my comfort zone and helped me prepare for life outside of Cedar Falls.