"He was about to pass by them."

I really like storms. I think it is neat to sit inside of my house and watch the clouds roll in with the thunder rumbling off in the distance. As the wind picks up, my curiosity overtakes me as I open the front door to experience the power of the storm before the rain begins. When the rain hits, I retreat inside to watch from a distance.

I understand the power of the storm, but from the inside of my house, it doesn't seem too scary. Put me in a car driving 70 mph down a highway in the same storm and it's a different story. A few weeks back this happened to me. I pulled over on the side of the road, face-timed a good friend, and sat there scared out of my mind as the lightening cracked all around me and hail pelted my car.

Now imagine what a storm is like on a lake.

With the waves crashing all around you.

With the wind whipping the rain into your face and thunder and lightening on display.

Experiencing a storm from inside my house or even from inside my car can not begin to compare to experiencing a storm on a lake. It would terrify me.

In Luke 8:22-25 and Mark 6:45-52, that is exactly what the disciples experienced.

22 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. 23 As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. 24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 25 “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.” - LUKE 8:22-25

Here in Luke 8, the disciples had Jesus on the boat with them and they were still scared of the storm. So scared in fact, that they woke him from his sleep- crying out in fear. I imagine they had no plan in that moment, they just simply told Jesus that they thought they were all going to drown. However, Jesus calms the storm, saves them from their impending death, and then calls them out for their lack of faith.

45 Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. 46 After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray. 47 Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. 48 He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, 50 because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 51 Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, 52 for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened. - MARK 6:45-52

Again in Mark 6, Jesus sends his disciples in a boat out on a lake. This time though, he sends them out ahead of him as he finishes up with the crowd that had gathered to be fed. After the crowd dissipated and he took some time to himself, Jesus sees that his disciples are struggling out on the water as the storm around them intensified.

The majority of the times that I have heard this story told, I have heard it from the perspective of Matthew 14:22-33. This time around though, something different stuck out to me that I had never heard before, "He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them..."

Why was Jesus about to pass by his disciples? Why does Mark include this in his recollection of the situation? I think Jesus was going to pass by them to test their faith.

More often than not, I have heard this story told to highlight that the disciples were afraid when they saw Jesus walking on the water and Peter's lack of faith. But when you look at both stories together, Jesus doesn't walk on the water both times, but there is a storm both times. Both times the disciples were afraid of the storm, they cried out to Jesus for help and both times he calmed the storm.

How often do we cry out to Jesus in the midst of our storms? In the midst of chaos, where everything seems really scary and we are nervous, how often do we call out for Jesus to calm the storms?

Jesus used these storms to test his disciples' faith- that he remains all powerful even in the midst of the chaos. The end of Matthew 4 says, "And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.'"

It's comfortable to watch storms from our own houses. Our safety secured by the faith we have that the roof over our head will keep the storm from us. The same should be said for the storms we face in our lives too. We must have faith that Jesus will take care of us in the midst of the storm and not doubt his power as the Son of God.

the power of too

too.

The simplicity of the word does not give it's magnitude justice. The word carries so much weight with so little space.

I use this word a lot. Throwing the adverb into my sentences to help justify my current state.

I'm too exhausted.
I'm too hungry.
I'm too busy.

The last one has challenged me a lot over the past few years. I've written a few posts about busyness and it's place in my life (Stop, and take a breath & Routines). Often times, I use busyness to justify saying no to something else. "I'm too busy to hang out." "I'm too busy to take on another project." "I'm too busy to read my bible."

I think there is a fine balance between the right amount of busyness and too much. Sometimes, saying no to something is absolutely the right move in order to maintain balance in your life. However, I have discovered the hard way that this can't be true for every situation.

In Routines, I wrote this- "Time is expensive, and for that reason, I used to justify not spending time reading my bible because I had other things to do. That busy schedule that I had total complete control over was filled with so many things, that I told myself that there wasn't any time for God in my daily routine."

Those words sometimes still ring true today. It's been a year since I wrote that post but I find myself saying I'm too busy to read my bible and justifying my inaction because it's easier to place blame on my busyness than really figuring out the root of the problem.

I recently finished a book titled "Crazy Busy" by Kevin DeYoung and my favorite quote from the book comes amid my favorite paragraph in the book.

“Making consistent time for the Word of God and prayer is the place to start because being with Jesus is the only thing strong enough to pull us away from busyness. We wont say no to more craziness until we can say yes to more Jesus… It is not wrong to be tired. It is not wrong to feel overwhelmed. It’s not wrong to go through seasons of complete chaos. What is wrong – is to live a life with more craziness than we want because we have less Jesus than we need.”

We can have too much on our plate. We can have too many tasks that need to be accomplished. We can get too little sleep.

What we can't do though, is get too much Jesus. We can never have too much of Him.

Too, while it adds a lot of weight to my sentences when I want it to, can never be used to describe the amount of Jesus I need.

a silent conversation

When you think about a conversation, I imagine you are thinking about two people using their voices to speak words to one another. Maybe they’re looking at each other, maybe they’re not, but through their body language and the words they are using, the two are able to carry out a conversation.

Most of us take the simplicity of conversations for granted but even more so, we take for granted our ability to listen and hear with our ears. Take away our ability to listen, and a spoken conversation quickly becomes difficult.

Now imagine a life where silence is all you know. Where the beat of a drum or the birds chirping are unfamiliar sounds. Where the thoughts that exist in your head are the most deafening thing you know.

Silence can be hard. It is in the silence that we often times find ourselves contemplating life. Questioning our decisions, our choices, who we are and why we believe what we believe. It is in the silence where our own thoughts can consume us.

In March of 2013, 2016, and 2017, I have travelled to Jamaica to spend a week at the Caribbean Christian Centre for the Deaf. As the name of the school implies, the CCCD is a school for the deaf that exists in Jamaica. In four different locations across the country, CCCD exists to serve the deaf community in various capacities, educating and preparing them for their future in ways that other schools in the country may struggle to do. It was at the Kingston campus this most recent trip where I discovered how powerful silence can be.

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On Tuesday evening of my trip this year, I found myself sitting on a wooden bench and watching the two boys sitting across from me carry out a silent conversation. They weren’t using their voices, but they still showed all their emotions and words through their hands and faces. Using expressions and movements to convey the meaning they sought to communicate.

So as I sat there and watched these two kids converse, I stared in awe at how incredible their language is. It didn't look or sound like the language I use yet stories were being shared and jokes were being told.

They were listening with their eyes, not their ears.

On previous trips, the silence I experienced brought so much discomfort. Without communicating how I know best, I was consumed by my thoughts and feelings in the depths of the silence.

I questioned a lot about myself. I questioned what I want in life. I questioned why God had chosen me to serve alongside those engaged in full-time ministry there.

This trip was different though. In the silence, God was at work through my discomfort.

Throughout the week and through many silent conversations shared, I found myself learning more and more from the kids. They had no agenda, just a desire to live their lives and tell others about Christ. It was in those silent conversations that I realized how to be comfortable in the silence and to allow God to speak to me in those moments.

So often, I think we all wish God would communicate with us verbally, asking him to physically speak words to us so that we can hear his word with our ears. But I am finding that it is in the silent moments where I quit talking and decide to listen that God is speaking to me the most.

Silence can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Like the two boys conversing across the table from me, so much can be said in silence. We just have to be comfortable in the silence for us to be able to listen in those moments.

a thank you letter

It’s been almost one month since UNI Dance Marathon hosted the 6th Annual UNI Dance Marathon Big Event and man- what a crazy weekend that was. As many of you know, I had the incredible honor and privilege to serve in this organization as one of the Executive Directors for 2016 - 2017 and I am very thankful for the experience. Throughout this year, I got to walk alongside the families UNI Dance Marathon supports- listening to their stories, playing with their kids, and raising money for the hospital that every single one of them has called home.

I’ve taken a lot of time to reflect over the past year and wanted to take some additional time to thank those who donated to me this year. Thank you for donating to the University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital and the kiddos I have had the privilege of meeting and knowing. Thank you for believing in something I care so much about- it means a lot to me that you were willing to donate. I have spent 6 years getting to know this organization and am completely baffled by the love and support I have received from friends, family members, and strangers who have wanted to donate.

While I did not reach my personal fundraising goal for the year, the really neat thing about that is that it doesn’t matter. This year, I raised just over $2,700 FTK and every single dollar raised means lives will be changed down in Iowa City!

UNI DM as an entire organization set a goal to raise $400,000 in a year of fundraising and at the end of our Big Event, we were able to write a check for $453,278.06- almost half a million dollars raised for the UI Stead Family Children's Hospital!

I am forever thankful for all this organization has given me over the past six years. I never knew what this organization was all about when I danced as a freshmen at the first ever Big Event, but I know now that I will forever proudly be FTK. Thank you to everybody who supported me in this journey- I greatly appreciate it.

- DV

A story about Jamaica

In March 2013, I went on a missions trip to Jamaica for the first time.

In March 2016, I went back.

Both weeks were structured the same. They were both over spring break and I spent both weeks serving at the Caribbean Christian Center for the Deaf in Kingston, Jamaica.

But that's about where the similarities stopped.

About 3 days in to my second trip, I started questioning why things felt different and it took a little bit of time for me to figure it out. Nothing in the country had changed. The people and places were exactly as I remembered them, and beyond the fact that the kids I met at CCCD had grown up in the 3 years since I had been there last, they were still as spunky and energetic as ever.

Through conversations I began having with others on the trip, and looking back on what I had written in my journal during my first trip, I started to see that what had changed so much between 2013 and 2016 was me.

A couple of months before this trip, I was asked by Carter and Sara, the leaders of the trip, if I would be willing to share my story on one of the nights in Jamaica.

I was nervous, but I said yes. And for the next couple of months I wrestled with what I would share and the question of what parts of my story I could contribute was really weighing heavy on my mind.

“He must become greater, I must become less.”
— John 3:30

Carter and Sara asked me to read over John 3:30 and share how that verse had been made real in my own life. I went through A LOT of revisions, seeking to figure out what it was in my story that would make the greatest impact on the lives of those I would be telling my story too. It was the week before we left for Jamaica, though, that I realized the biggest flaw in how I was going about writing my story...

Me.

I was writing down a story that I thought would make me sound the nicest, cleanest, put together person when in all actuality, I just needed to tell God's story. In that moment, I still needed to remember John 3:30 and let God do the work I was struggling to do myself. God must become greater, Daniel must become less.

After arriving in Jamaica and as the day I would give my story grew closer, I found myself journaling a lot about my fears. All I wanted to do at that point was share my story well and let God be glorified through my words. I was nervous, and the night I was to tell my story, I wrote down this prayer.

"Lord, let my words tonight be your truth. Let my story work in ways I may not never know and help me as I try to be vulnerable with people I don't really know that well. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your love. Thank you for putting people in my life who have shown me your love and joy! This week, I've been reminded of how much you have changed me and the grace you have shown me as I've stumbled along the way over the years. Thank you for your constant pursuit of my heart."

That night, I told my story. That night, I told some of the most vulnerable parts of my life to some old and new friends a like. That night, I was no longer afraid of being real with people; as silly as that may sound. I was so nervous leading up to that night because I was nervous about how people would perceive my story. But that night I realized that it didn't matter because through my story God was becoming greater.

The week after we got back, I sat down in Sidecar to write some thoughts down. Here's what I said.

"Jamaica was good; like way good. God showed his faithfulness to me, and that's one of my biggest takeaways from it right now. This past week, I saw where God has been working in my life and the changes he's been making in my heart. I'm a lot more patient than I was 3 years ago and I'm a lot less selfish than I used to be. I'm more willing to go with the flow and let God do his thing instead of trying to handle all things on my own. This past week, I let God become greater, as I became less."

God has been faithful over the last 3 years. He never gave up on his constant pursuit of my heart; even when I was insistent that I be in control.

I never figured it would take a trip to another country for me to have this realization, but putting me in the same place, in an identical situation nearly 3 years later, allowed me to see how much God has been at work in my life. I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to serve in Jamaica and continue to build relationships with the kids at CCCD and I'm thankful for everybody who supported me both prayerfully and financially along the way. I learned a lot about myself during this trip and I'm humbled to have had the chance to share the work that God has been doing in my life through a story only God could have written.

Welcome to My Life

In January, one of the goals I set for 2016 was to spend time twice a month writing blogs to share here as a way to keep friends and family updated on my life, but also for me to take a break from the busyness of life every once in a while and do something I love. If you look back through the year, though, you'll see that my last blog post was February 17, exactly 2 months ago today. So, in order to catch you up quick, here is a short list of what has been going on in my life these past 2 months!

February 19-21, 2016: theRiver Winter Retreat

This year, I decided super last minute to attend theRiver Winter Retreat. I have gone on this trip every year I've been at UNI, but this year I wasn't sure if it was my place to go on a trip structured primarily for undergraduate students.

As the week went by, a lot began to frustrate me. I was having car problems, money for my missions trip was coming due, and on the way to Minnesota, I got pulled over by a city cop who gave me a ticket for speeding 8 over the limit. Simply put, I arrived at the retreat pretty frustrated with myself and with everything that was happening in life at the time.

It didn't take long for me to see why I was there, though. It turns out, a break is exactly what I needed at that point. I needed to just get away.

Over the course of the weekend, it became more and more evident that God was showing me what joy looks like. I saw people worshipping God without any hesitation. I saw people experiencing joy, not just happiness. I watched a bunch of college aged adults forgetting about their stresses and focusing in on what God was doing in their lives.

March 5, 2016: UNI Dance Marathon

The first Saturday in March has been reserved for Dance Marathon since my freshmen year at UNI and this year was no different. On March 5, I got to witness over 1,000 college students unite for a cause that I have cared about for 5 years now. I witnessed kiddos experience joy because they could forget their sickness for a day and while I may have witnessed some really bad dancing; I got to see those same bad dancers throw their worries aside and focus on something so much greater.

On March 5, 2016, I got to see UNI DM raise over $370,000 for the University of Iowa Children's Hospital, making us the second highest fundraising dance marathon program in the state of Iowa!

March 11-20, 2016: Jamaica Mission Trip

After 3 years away, I finally made it back to Kingston, Jamaica; to serve a community of people that I met back in 2013. I was excited to go back, but really nervous about what this trip would look like for me because I had a rough time on my first trip to the country. I'd share more about it, but I am planning a Jamaica recap blog to follow this one. So, stay tuned! :)

March 22, 2016: Executive Co-Director

On March 22, 2016, I interviewed for the opportunity to serve an organization I love as one of the next Executive Co-Directors for UNI Dance Marathon! I had my first interview at 5:30 p.m., my second interview at 9:30 p.m., and accepted the position at 11:00 p.m. that night! Things have moved quickly since then and my partner and I, Greta, just finished selecting our team of Directors this past week. We are both excited to have the opportunity to lead this organization over the next 12 months and can't wait to see how the UNI & Cedar Valley communities continue to live out the FTK cause this next year!

April: Listen Well

A lot has been happening in April. Between interviewing candidates for our Dance Marathon Executive Board, to interviewing student "Words of Wisdom" speakers for UNI Now, I spent over 20 hours this week just sitting and listening to people. In addition to this, my role at Scratch Cupcakery is picking up as Curbside season starts in 2 weeks. On top of it all, I'm also in the middle of conducting research on students expectations on what college is like vs. the experiences they've had at UNI.

Through all of this busyness in April, I think I'm learning what it means to listen well. From people's stories, to their problems, to their qualifications for whatever they applied for, needing to be a better listener has been a common theme among what has been going on in my life.